Another fun read this edition is the 10 Tricks to Survive in a Zombie World. These are scientifically evaluated and can help you stop obsessing and dwelling on the life you used to live before the end happened.
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By: Assaph Mehr
I should not have been out that night.
I knew better, or at least I should have.
There are three unlucky nights in the year. Three nights where the stone slabs over the mundus cerialis stood open. An ancient tradition, whose reasons were forgotten but its ritual strictly adhered to, dictated that the stone doors to this hemispherical pit located in a declivity near the temple of Ceres be opened on three nights — even though they represented the gates to the underworld.
A night with the doors to Dis wide open.
A night with — according to custom — the shades of the dead free to roam about.
A biting November wind was chilling me to the bones. I was limping home from a rather nasty assignment, involving some of society’s undesirables, an orphan, an enchanted signet ring, and several pig carcasses. I wasn’t planning for it to go that way or for that long, but it did — and now I had to make my way home across the deserted city. The cruelest master would not risk slaves out on this night. Even stray dogs slunk away to their hiding holes, and the sliver of moon hid behind grey clouds.
I made my way home as quickly as I could in my battered condition.
I took shortcuts.
I made a wrong turn.
I faced a blank wall at the end of an alley, and had to turn back. At the opening of the alley, silhouetted against the sky, was a half-translucent grey shape. It advanced upon me, and I retreated the few steps I could. It advanced further, closer, closer.
I started to mutter prayers to all the numina I could think of, promising offerings if I lived to see the morning.
It stopped three paces away from me.
It raised its grey arm.
It reached with its grey hand to its grey mouth, and pulled out the coin that tradition dictated should be used to pay the ferryman to Dis.
“Payment,” it croaked, and reached out its hand with the coin towards me.
I stared at it, dumbstruck. The night was clear of clouds, and the stars twinkled above us. I could make out the shape of the shade. It was that of a woman, young, well dressed, high class — or at least wrapped in a rich woman’s funeral shroud.
I found my voice at last. “To guide you back to the mundus?”
“No,” it croaked again. “Revenge.
10 Tricks to Survive in a Zombie World
1. Snap out of it and accept the new world.
2. Determine on the what is bothering you most
3. Find what is distorting your point of view of the situation
4. Make time to make a plan of survival
5. Laugh at the situation
6. Imagine the worst & best case scenario
7. Act to solve the problem you are currently facing
8. Find another human to talk to & communicate with
9. Learn the lesson from whatever situation you are in
10. Stay in the present, don't focus on the past